Galactic Court
by Dae1
Summary: Ever wonder what it'd be like if the Star Wars galaxy had a court show? Well this is what might happen if the Honerable Judge Yoda presided over SW court cases!


This is one of my first SW fanfics. I hope y'all like it. This is a parody I came up with this afternoon, and I thought I'd write it down. If you like it, please review and I'll add more.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Wars; I'm just a crazy fan who happens to like writing.  
  
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*Galactic Court theme song plays*  
  
Announcer: Welcome to Galactic Court, the show where the Honorable Judge Yoda presides over some of the galaxies most fascinating cases! The first case up today is Skywalker vs. Aunt Skywalker.  
  
*Luke and Mara Jade walk into the courtroom.*  
  
C-3PO the Bailiff: All rise!  
  
*Yoda enters courtroom wearing a robe and a powdered wig*  
  
Yoda: Greetings! Strange case, this is. Want a divorce you do?  
  
Mara: Yes, that's correct. *glares at Luke*  
  
Luke: Mara, don't you think you're overreacting a bit?  
  
Mara: NO! I'm not overreacting!  
  
Yoda: Silence, I say! Mrs. Skywalker, explain your case, you must!  
  
Mara: Thank you Yoda. I've put up with this guy for years, and well, frankly I've had enough!  
  
Yoda: Why say this you do?  
  
Mara: He never has any time for me! He promised me two years ago we'd go on a second honeymoon, and we've yet to do it. Whenever I bring it up, he always makes some lame excuse about having to save the galaxy!  
  
Yoda: And because of this, want divorce you do?  
  
Mara: There's more! He spends all his time at his stupid Jedi Academy, surrounded by young, attractive women. And I recently found out that he's kissed his sister!  
  
Luke: I already explained that! It was before we met, and I didn't know Leia was my sister! Honest!  
  
Mara: And you expect me to believe that?!  
  
Yoda: Silence! Silence! Mara, continue you should.  
  
Mara: Anyway, I just think it's time to call it quits, that's all.  
  
Luke: Can't we at least try to talk things out first?  
  
Yoda: Luke, now your side, you may tell.  
  
Luke: I haven't done anything wrong! Honest! I would have taken her on a second honeymoon if I had the time!  
  
Mara: Yeah, sure you would!  
  
Yoda: *bangs gavel* Silence, I say!  
  
Luke: I admit it; I kissed Leia. But I didn't even know Mara then!  
  
Yoda: So, want this divorce you do not?  
  
Luke: Well, I didn't, but now that think about it, maybe it would be for the better. I mean, she did want to kill me for a while, and it's kind of hard to forget something like that.  
  
Yoda: Understand you, I do. Divorce, I shall grant you! Custody, we will now discuss.  
  
Mara: I want the Jedi Academy!  
  
Luke: What?! You can't have the academy! Yoda, you can't give her the academy!  
  
Mara: Yoda, we signed a prenuptial agreement that states that I get the academy if we divorce. I have it right here. *waves piece of paper in front of Luke's face*  
  
Luke: What! But when I read that agreement, it didn't say anything about you getting the academy!  
  
Mara: Well, you didn't read the fine print!  
  
Yoda: That paper, I must see.  
  
*C-3PO gives paper to Yoda*  
  
Yoda: Indeed! Get Jedi Academy, Mara does!  
  
Mara: HA!  
  
Yoda: Luke gets droid named R2-D2, it also says.  
  
Mara: NOOO! But I want R2-D2!  
  
Luke: HA!  
  
Mara: But shouldn't we discuss this? I mean, what's more important: R2-D2 having a good home, or a stupid piece of paper?  
  
Yoda: Child, R2-D2 is not. Droid he is, possession he is considered.  
  
Mara: But I want R2-D2!  
  
Luke: And I want my Jedi Academy!  
  
Yoda: Then get divorced you should not!  
  
Mara: But Luke isn't a good husband! He won't take me on my second honeymoon! *starts crying*  
  
Luke: But Mara! I gave you that brochure on that nice resort on Hoth, but you got mad!  
  
Mara: Well I don't wanna go to Hoth!  
  
Luke: Alright, well, where to you want to go?  
  
Mara: Um, Cloud City?  
  
Luke: Okay, that sounds good.  
  
Mara: Oh Luke! You're such a wonderful husband! *kisses Luke*  
  
Announcer: Galactic Court will be back after these messages.  
  
*Commercial 1 starts*  
  
Lando Calrissian: Hello people! I'm here today to give you an offer of a lifetime! Ladies, do you have trouble getting your husbands to take out the trash? Kids, do you hate doing chores? I thought so! Here's the answer to all your problems, 100 baby Dianogas were found recently, and they need a good home! Adopt one today, and it'll rid you of the awful chore of taking out the trash! The Dianoga feeds on refuse, and is relatively harmless *under breath* if you stay away from its mouth that is. Imagine the free time you'll have once your new Dianoga takes care of the trash. You'll have time to take that romantic vacation, visit the local cantina, or even blow up planets with your Death Star! Don't delay, call today! 


End file.
